I AM SO SORRY, MAMA

Remember the shorthand class? Well, Fay and I got together with Colleen, her brother, Dan and Dickie Lee from Maui. Fay started dating Dan and I, Dickie. I had met Dickie years before in Honolulu, briefly. He was working for Boys Clubs of America now, in charge of the SFO branch. He was half Chinese, half Portugese which I have always thought, looked Mexican...oh well.

We immediately took to each other and had a fun time in the city....parties with other kids from the islands etc. It was quite a change to be courted and meeting some "normal" people.



AND THEN I GOT PREGNANT. We immediately decided to get married but I did not want to tell my mother I was pregnant as she was now in a re occurance of her breast cancer. I did not want to upset her. I decided to plan a church wedding back at home in Honolulu and do it the way she would want. My daddy was gone and she could at least be a part of this. (in hind sight I should not have put her thorugh this disaster)

Fay and Dickie saw me off at the airport so that he could keep working and I could plan and organize the wedding to be on December 28th 1960. What I didn't know then, was that Fay and Dickie went to a party that evening, after the airport and had sex with each other.
She became pregnant but her story was that the baby was Dan's. Somehow, I KNEW by the way Dickie started acting that it was his. He wasn't allowing me to get together with Fay...not liking Fay...she had her baby 9 mos to the day after that party night. She gave the little baby boy up for adoption never admitting to whom the father was.
Our wedding was small and beautiful at Central Union. My college roommate, Anne, was my maid of honor, and my mother seemed happy, but only after we fought over everything we could. She asked if I was pregnant.I lied and said NO. I totaled her car..it wasn't my fault, but it certainly wasn't convenient. She didn't want Dickie sleeping with me in the same room. We were like at each others throats...I so regret this. We were each so full of our own pain. I am so sorry, Mama.